is it wrong? 

is it wrong for me to crave for a little peace at the end of my day. 

I know work is not terribly draining at the moment and nothing in my life is terribly hard either. 

But I do need this peace. 

This moment when no one is looking for me, demanding anything from me, asking something from me or bothering me about anything

Not even talking to me. yes I’m finding this quite a surprise too. 

yes even from you. 

I just need silence. and on my laptop doing whatever the fuck I want. 

I long for that day 
When you look into my eyes
And  mine into yours
And you say yes, 

Yes to our future 
yes to building a life 
together
hand in hand

Yes to getting sick of each other
yes to fighting and arguing 
yes to making tough decisions 
together
Hand in hand 

No more thinking and considering
weighing out the pros and cons
thinking of whether we’re meant to be 

We just are
And we’ll know it 
We’ll be so sure
more sure than the moon and the stars

We will be
At least I know I will 
You, you’re not so sure 
But I will find a you that is. 

It was love to pining to heartbreak to hate. 

Not hate. 

Just resentment. 

You stole my light and now it’s time for me to shine. 

You and Your problems ain’t that Special.

How does one Thought Catalog article summarize your whole love life? 

It nails down, to the exact detail, as to what your heart is feeling. Every single thought that have ever passed your mind written out in Helvetica size 12. 

The whispers you could only hear in the depths of your heart right before you go to bed, are distilled into blatant sentences as if it was no more than factual information

If your entire love life can be posted by a stranger in a public forum, with thousands of others agreeing to the merit of its content, then it means… i don’t really know what it means.. that we’re not unique after all? 

No, it means our life isn’t a big drama after all. 

Everybody goes through it and there’s been-there-done-that solutions that millions of others have taken before you. Try one. There needn’t be so many sleepless nights. 

Avoid the pitfalls they warn you about. Stop asking what if, stop trying to believe that your situation is somehow special and that their solutions wont apply. 

You’re not that special, and neither are your problems. 

#ReadThoughtCatalog

It wasn’t meant to be like this. 

Just no. 

This is what happens when you don’t listen to your heart and listen to other things that don’t matter. 

Or is it meant to be like this? Have I just been wrong the whole time? 

Sometimes it’s worth it to read the story anyway, no matter the spoilers or the ending. 

It’s like having vanilla ice-cream after having rocky road.

It’s not that vanilla is bad but you can’t really go back to liking old plain vanilla after getting a taste of rocky road.

Some women could live without men. Exempting the need to reproduce, some of us could certainly do it.

But we cannot live without love.

The point of a partner is to give you that unconditional everlasting love. Yes, when you’re young your friends will still keep you company but friends come and go, even family have their own bundle of worries to deal with.

But a partner? They’re meant to stick by you till death do you part.

And that’s why we need them.

We need them to make us laugh when everything goes to shit. We need them to dance the puddles and sing in the pouring rain with us.

We’re becoming more independent, and the darwinian need to find a male protector and hunter is not as necessary as it used to be.

But the need for love, that has never changed.

You knew she doesn’t eat any kind of fruit except apples and strawberries. 

I’m not jealous. I just kinda wish you knew me that well too. 

I wish you knew when it was that I felt uncomfortable. Or when there’s something wrong. It’s not hard to tell with me, everybody else in my life knows it. 

"It’s just that you hope there’s someone who’s on the same wavelength as you and it’s a bit disheartening to find out that they aren’t" - Modern Family 

I just know that I have to go back to You. 

but I can’t. 

I don’t know why. I feel so far away, distant. 

And I don’t know what to do. With life and how to get back to You. 

God, if you are listening, whisper me the answer. 

What do I do when I feel like this. 

I kinda forgot what it meant. What it feels like.

To have a conversation where I don’t have to worry about anything.

We both know the unwritten rules and there are so many things that don’t need to be said for our conversation to make sense.

We just get it

Both of us

I need a new prayer

I keep hating myself for still going back to the old prayer

And I’m not entirely happy with the current make-shift prayer

Just need something new to ask God because I’m done with my old prayers.

Going to have to be careful with the next one just because I know that prayers come true.

Lord, hear us.

Never not listen to your instincts. They’re always right.

If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.

People say I assume a lot of things and jump to conclusions too quickly.

They’re often illogical jumps, I don’t know how I got there but I just know that that’s how it’s meant to be.

I try to give people and situations the benefit of the doubt but I almost hate myself when I find out that I had been right all along.

I had been right about my feelings, it’s exactly where it is because that’s exactly where your feelings are too.

It’s not where people told me it is or where I hoped it was, you are right here with me, right in between confusion and uncertainty.

Words and actions may speak otherwise but things you say and do behind my back say that there is something more in between the lines.

Or maybe I’ve way over analyzed this and I’m being overly dramatic.

No, it’s definitely you just being a dumbass.

Bittersweet.

I never knew that something can be so bitter that it becomes sweet. Maybe that’s not the intended meaning of the term “bittersweet” but to me this is the perfect way to describe my experience here in Shanghai.

It was eye-opening, awakening and enlightening I suppose, to say the very least. I learnt and discovered more about myself, others and my surroundings, things that I never imagined to discover.

It was an unexpected lesson and I think those are the best kinds.

It was bitter. But now upon leaving, I am beginning to taste the subtle hints of sweetness. Actually, I’ve always been able to taste the sweetness all along but this kind of sweetness really is acquired tasting and it took a while before I could
fully appreciate it.